The Finest, by Bob Connally

“We want the finest wines available to humanity! We want them here and we want them now!” I had that put on a t-shirt at a specialty store once. It’s a quote that only a relatively small number of people will recognize (certainly in the United States). But I had to get it because it’s the definitive quote from one of the most quotable movies of all-time, Bruce Robinson’s cult comedy classic Withnail & I. It now comes in at number 7 on my list but at that time Robinson’s essentially autobiographical look back at 1969 Britain was my favorite movie. So why would a film about two out of work actors living in squalor and living to get drunk and high in late ‘60s London resonate with me so much? I don’t drink much- and not at all when I first saw it at age 20- I don’t take drugs, I’ve never been an out of work actor, and I’ve never been British in the ‘60s. Or in any other decade now that I think of it. But from the first time I saw it, Withnail & I spoke to me in a way few films ever have. I came for the quotes but I came away with so much more.

Withnail (Richard E. Grant, in his film debut) and an unnamed narrator (Paul McGann, credited only as “…& I”) have been solidly unemployed for the past three months. The kitchen sink is filled to the brim while their stomachs are empty. Booze is their only source of comfort (or heat in the “intense cold” of their London flat) and seemingly everything and everyone they encounter is a threat. I (named Marwood in the script, which is how he’ll be referred to from here on to avoid confusion) suggests the two of them go out to the country for a few days and “rejuvenate.” “I’m in a park and I’m practically dead,” the ever fatalistic Withnail replies. “What good’s the countryside?” Reluctantly, Withnail agrees to approach his rich Uncle Monty (Richard Griffiths, Uncle Vernon from the Harry Potter films) about borrowing his cabin for the weekend. What Marwood is unaware of though is that while the cabin may be free, it won’t come without a personal cost to him. Once Withnail and Marwood arrive at the cabin in Penrith they find it even less hospitable than their miserable flat. That in essence is the entire plot of Withnail & I.

What Withnail & I lacks in plot it does not make up for in jokes. First time director Robinson was insistent throughout making the film that the characters do not know that they’re funny and thus he directed Grant and McGann to play every scene with utter seriousness. The comedy was to come from that seriousness and from what Grant described as, “the desperation in the situation.” For Withnail and Marwood none of what is happening is funny. This is a period in their lives that is decidedly dreadful and rife with uncertainty. This gives greater punch to lines such as, “We’ve gone on holiday by mistake,” “Those are the kind of windows faces look in at,” and, “I want something’s flesh!” They aren’t delivered as quips or one-liners. They’re just the honest words of Withnail, a harried, cowardly drunk.

Grant’s utterly brilliant and hilarious portrayal of the “elegantly wasted” Withnail is even more staggering when learning that Grant himself is a lifelong teetotaler. He has a terrible allergic reaction to alcohol, though Robinson did want him to have a “chemical memory” of the sensation of drunkenness so he had Grant get properly hammered once before shooting. Grant brings absolute sincerity to every moment. While Withnail is an out of work actor about to turn 30 he still insists he’s going to be a star. “When I strike they won’t know what hit them!” He lives each moment as though it is a confrontation with everyone and everything. “How DARE you?!” isn’t just a commonly used phrase for him, it’s in the subtext of virtually everything that comes out of his mouth. More than that, it’s burned onto his face. For members of the film’s cult fan base, the performance is absolutely legendary. By playing the sad reality of Withnail, Grant makes the comedy work in a way that it would not if he were to go for the laughs. It gives the film a sense of weight in the midst of all of the drunken misadventures.

As the more staid Marwood, McGann is quietly extraordinary. Withnail is larger than life (in a real life way) but Marwood internalizes everything, including the fear that dominates his mind. Still, McGann projects an underlying sense within Marwood that things will work out the way they’re meant to. Marwood doesn’t talk the big talk that Withnail does about his acting talent or how big of a star he’ll become. Like Withnail, he sees most everyone and everything as a threat but rather than lash out against those threats, Marwood tries to quietly step away from danger. This is made evident during one of the film’s funniest scenes early on in which Marwood tries to quickly leave a bar after being called a “ponce” by a drunken Irishman. Withnail tries to stand up for his friend until he sees the size and temperament of the Irishman in question. Withnail immediately goes into survival mode, throwing out every idea he can to avoid getting himself pummeled. “Would you like a drink?… I have a heart condition. If you hit me it’s murder. …My wife is having a baby.” And finally, selling out his friend, “Listen, I don’t know what my f- acquaintance did to upset you but it’s nothing to do with me. I suggest you both go outside and discuss it sensibly. In the street.”

Through most of the film the two bicker with one another and a key element of the story comes from Withnail pulling something on Marwood that is absolutely reprehensible. Still, the tea room scene (which features the fan favorite “finest wines available to humanity” line) around the movie’s midway point is maybe the key moment of in all of Withnail & I. Both drunk in the middle of the day, the two stagger into a tea room that is about to close up for the afternoon. Everyone else there, including the proprietor and his wife are at least twice their age and are as properly British as they come. The proprietor threatens to call the police if they don’t leave immediately but Withnail and Marwood just play with them to amuse themselves and each other. “We are multimillionaires,” Marwood states as he spreads butter on a piece of bread. “If you [call the police], you’re fired. …We shall buy this place and fire you immediately.” Grant was so tickled filming the scene that he delivered the next line through his own genuine laughter. It was an accident that Robinson used to his advantage and kept in the movie. It is at that exact moment as you see Paul McGann and Richard E. Grant laughing for real that you can see the friendship between Marwood and Withnail coming through at its strongest.

The supporting cast is excellent across the board, most notably Griffiths as the sad and predatory Uncle Monty and Ralph Brown as Danny the drug dealer. Brown was so funny as the hippie whose system is full of every drug known to humanity that Mike Myers wrote a role specifically for him in Wayne’s World 2. The character has a different name and is transported to the ‘90s but for all intents and purposes Myers cast him to play Danny again. A reference that almost none of Wayne’s World 2’s audience would have recognized.

Withnail & I may not have jokes or much of a plot but it is still one of the funniest movies ever made and it has characters and a story that stay with you. They’ve stayed with me for 15 years. It’s only in Withnail’s final scenes that it becomes apparent what it’s really all been about and what it was all building towards. It punctuates the sense of melancholy that is woven into the film, giving it an emotional heft. The last scene is unforgettable and puts a capper on Grant’s acting debut for the ages.

For a companion film, I’ll pick another British comedy about friendship, Edgar Wright’s Shaun of the Dead. Yes, it was advertised as a “romantic comedy with zombies” or “rom-zom-com,” but it’s at its best when focused on the friendship between Shaun (Simon Pegg) and Ed (Nick Frost). There will be more Wright/Pegg/Frost to come on my trip through my top 10.