What follows is a tale of love and loss, of wooing and woe, and of the God that has yet to speak on how He fits into it all. It is long, intimate, melodramatic and at times, rambling, written, I suppose, as a type of catharsis for myself or for any other believer who, when it comes to the topic of romantic love, finds some truth and relation in the words of C.S. Lewis when he said:
“When I lay these questions before God I get no answer. But a rather special sort of ‘No answer.’ It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As though He shook His head not in refusal but waiving the question. Like, ‘Peace, child; you don’t understand.’”
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
– Jeremiah 29:11
On July 6th of this year, I was laid off from my job. I’ll always remember that day because, contrary to the wisdom bestowed upon us by Office Space, I was let go on a Wednesday and told that my dismissal was immediate. Without any job prospects, any real idea of what I wanted to do next, and without even an updated resume, any normal person in my situation would’ve probably been concerned with the situation. I was now forced into facing the unenviable task of job searching without so much as the slightest inkling of career goals or a plan of attack to achieve them. […]