Finding a New Hope, by Travis Fishburn

A year ago, I moved from a small town in Ohio to Los Angeles to pursue a career in filmmaking. It wasn’t an easy thing to finally do, but I knew it was the only thing that made sense at that point in my life. Filmmaking is the only thing I’ve ever planned on doing since I was 13 years old. My fiancée, Rachel, was the most supportive and influential person when it came to finally stepping out and moving here, and without her I doubt I would have done it at all.

I moved out to Los Angeles with the intention of lending a hand and making a difference in the production of either film or television. As the months rolled by and I still had yet to start doing anything other than working at the same job I had in Ohio, I began to wonder if continuing to pursue my filmmaking career was the best thing for me to do.

Finally, after many prayers and tears, Rachel and I came to the decision that the best thing for the future of our lives and that of our family would be if we settled down in Ohio. Initially, I was torn to pieces over the decision. I felt as if I had given up on my dreams and on this God-given desire to make films. Had I given this thing the proper go? How much can a person really achieve in a year? If I was really meant to leave and give up on this thing, why had God put this passion for film me? As I thought about what movies meant to me, I started to re-evaluate what it was that had originally made me passionate about them to begin with.

This is going to sound awful, but the movie that had initially made me excited about filmmaking was The Phantom Menace. It was not the film itself that impressed and intrigued me, but I became fascinated with the immense cultural awareness and anticipation of the film. I remember constantly seeing news coverage of the impending release of the movie on a nightly basis. Everywhere you looked that summer, you couldn’t escape that movie, and every major magazine in the country seemed to have a cover story on it.

I was born in 1985 so I had completely missed out on the release of the original Star Wars and its sequels, so this was my first exposure to a film that was so widely anticipated and talked about. As news stories unfolded, featuring people waiting in line for days to see the movie, and as I saw the crowds myself when I went to see the movie, I was struck with a sense of wonder at how culturally significant a film can be. The fact that all of these people were here together, excited to see a story told on the screen, made me really fall in love with the idea of what a movie can do.

To this day, I’ve been chasing that same experience. I worked as an usher at a movie theater for several years and loved the weekends when a big tent pole film would come out. It was insanely busy and a little stressful, yes, but I loved seeing the crowds come together, excited for a movie and sharing a theatrical experience.

Out of all the jobs I’ve had (even an internship editing videos for a major magazine website), my theater usher job has remained my favorite. I’m as big of an advocate of quality in the presentation of a film as I am about the film’s quality itself, so the standards of theater chains such as Arclight Cinemas and Alamo Drafthouse have always both intrigued me and (oddly enough) made me wish that I worked for them.

In the past ten years, there have been numerous changes that have negatively affected the theater going experience. It’s an experience that I love and I’ve discovered more and more that it’s something that I’m deeply passionate about. The more that I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve realized that my passion for film doesn’t mean that my contributions toward it have to be limited to production. It seems that there has always been another desire within me that I had never tapped into fully, and that was movie exhibition.

The idea of devoting my energy into film exhibition isn’t the most sought after or dream-inspiring job to most film fans, but I know that it’s something I can get excited about and believe in. The biggest issue with my life, recently, is that I so desperately want to make a difference and contribute in a way that will satisfy me. I know that by putting effort and heart into this idea, I can make a difference. I can strive to give people the theatrical experience that I look forward to and chase every time I go see a movie.

I started writing this with the intention of trying to put all of my feelings on the line about my decision to move back to Ohio. I had no idea I would bring up all of these accounts as to why I’m making this decision. A day ago, I would have said that I was still questioning this choice, now I feel like it’s the only logical thing for me to do. I no longer feel ashamed about myself for “giving up”, which has been the cause of many sleepless nights recently. I know that as long as I move forward and I’m using the talents and gifts God gave me in the direction where he points my heart, I’ll be satisfied. Actually, I’m now concerned less about people’s thoughts on my relocation and more about the fact that I’ve exposed my sentimental attachment of The Phantom Menace.